dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
