You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
