Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
