I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
