I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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