I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
