I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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