I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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