I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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