Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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