when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
MIDGETS
????
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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