She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drake has all the answers
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
