we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
