you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
