If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He kissed a someone with a penis
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize