I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
