It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
