that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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