She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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