no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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