i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
