i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
