So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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