Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
