had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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