Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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