Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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