oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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