Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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