Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
