This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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