I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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