All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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