I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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