The best revenge is premature balding
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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