She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
