so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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