you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
