I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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