I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
