i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
