We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
