yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
