I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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