Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
