I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I understand Curling. That high.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
