So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
