she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
