i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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