dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
