I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
well you can't waste a boner
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
