saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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