I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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