I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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