He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Shame - the story of my life.
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