I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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