Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
