used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
