Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
