I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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