He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize