Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
