Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
