i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize