Nicole vs. Life
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
